Battleweary

A couple of years ago, in roughly my sixth year of pastoral ministry, I started having those scary burn-
out feelings. You know the ones. Like when you find yourself not liking anyone around you, or when
everything you do seems like just one-more-thing, or when it stops being any fun at all – and,
consequently, when you start asking yourself how bad would used-car-sales really be as a career
option, or fantasizing about staging your own death and starting a new life in Belize. So, when I
started to have those sorts of feeling on a regular basis, I decided to take it seriously. I read my Bible
and prayed and journaled – and I laid my heart bare before the Lord. And through it all I eventually
identified four basic things I needed to do. As any pastor would, I came up with a glitzy mnemonic
device to help me sort it out and apply it to me life. I called it my “Four Ds”.

The first “D” is Decrease. I realized that I had taken on way too much. Between activities in the
church I serve, the community in which I live, and the denomination of which I am a part, I was spread
thinner than cream cheese on a bagel. So I prayerfully pulled out of some of my commitments until I
felt I was being about what I really needed to be about.

The second “D” is Delegate. Probably like most small church pastors, I tend to start spinning
around like a dervish, tackling everything in the making-it-up-as-I-go-along mode. Consequently I
end up doing a bulk of the work myself, and then feeling grumpy about not getting any help. So I
started slowing down, thinking through things, and sharing the weight with the wonderful laity who’d
been waiting for a chance to jump in anyway. And what has pleasantly surprised me is the fact that
much of what the laity does is a whole lot better than what I’d been churning out myself.

The third “D” is Define. There is no doubt that the title “pastor”
encompasses a whole gamut of responsibilities and activities.
And yet, while the Apostle Paul claimed to be all things to all
people, there aren’t too many of us who should or even could live
up to that calling. God has called us to take on the role of pastor
in ways that will differ from each other. Our talents, our education,
our personal experience, and our passions all vary – and they all
work together to make us who we are and what kind of pastor
each of us will be. I realized that I needed to get some sense of
definition for how God has called me to be a pastor, and to pursue
that calling as opposed to trying to fit myself into everyone else’s
mold.

The fourth “D” is Discipline. One of the most important things I
realized was that in the midst of all my burn-out feelings I hadn’t
been doing my part in fostering strength and inspiration and
vitality. I had let my own spiritual disciplines lapse while trying to
motivate everyone else towards a life-giving personal connection
with our Lord. So I began to commit myself to renewing my
participation in the basic pillars of prayer and devotional reading
of the Scriptures (not just for sermon prep) and spending time in
fellowship with people who are willing and able to give as well as
take. Also I began paying attention to the physical disciplines of
exercise and eating better and getting enough sleep.

I’m not saying this is some magical formula, nor do I claim to be
completely free of those scary burn-out feelings, but these four
“Ds” have really helped. From time to time I use them to review
my life, seeing where I’m slipping and sagging, and making a
concerted effort to tighten things up again. I hope reflecting on
these Ds will be of help to you as well!

Brian pastors Hope Presbyterian Church, Rogue River, Oregon